Unnecessary drama and a piece of my view

    Unfortunately, although I absolutely hate to do so, I am compelled to write this blog concerning the drama created by a certain person who, without my knowledge or consent, is writing and spreading information about me that is largely false, altered, or omits certain details. Since this person posted it publicly (again, I emphasize without my consent) and it contains information that does not align with reality as it happened and serves rather to make this person appear as a victim, as the entire blog is written from a victim's perspective, I want to defend myself. I never wanted to address this publicly, as I dislike drama and prefer to resolve issues privately, but unfortunately, I was not given a choice in this matter. The person in question is my ex-partner, which most of you already know because you've read the blog or figured it out. For those who don't know me, I apologize that this has reached you and it's probably uninteresting to you. I won't write as "extensively," but I would like to address a few points mentioned about me and add part of my perspective on how I see it happened, and moreover, I'd like to add some of my experiences with this person.

    Let's start with the matter where he writes about being depressed due to an unsuccessful attempt to travel to Thailand with his mother. At that time, he was receiving a lot of support not only from those around him but also from me. However, at one point he told me that he didn't want to go there alone. That a month is a long time and that he wants to intentionally let it lapse so he doesn't have to go, and that through work and not getting time off, it would be the best excuse so it wouldn't look bad. Saying that it was under stress right after the incident between him and me happened doesn't seem right to me at all. This whole behavior was solely his wish for how he wanted things to turn out because he didn't want to go to Thailand for a month. He confirmed that to me at the time.

    Furthermore, and this really affected me, he writes about how I attacked him, and this is probably the biggest lie that was almost completely altered. His version states that he compared me to my father, threw a tobacco pouch at me, and I gave him a solid punch. No, no, no. Let's stop here, my manipulative ex-boyfriend. First of all, he shouldn't have brought up the father issue. He knew it was my very weak spot, something I confided in him only after a long time, and he used it against me like this. I'm surprised he didn't elaborate on this among everything else he wrote. Moreover, and this is missing here, it continued with him approaching me and grabbing me by the throat because at that moment he had a low level of self-control. I pushed him away, after which he threw the tobacco pouch at my face with full force from a meter away. At that moment, I didn't even know what hit me, and in return, I gave him a solid slap. There was definitely no blackout; he was looking at me at that moment with terrifying, unconcealed anger. At that point, I reached for a knife, mainly out of fear. I wanted it to end. He wrenched the knife from my hand, but the blade slid down my palm in the process, leaving a bloody wound. That's at least the part that my ex mentions, but as you can see, he forgot to omit many things here.

    Next, he writes about my suicide attempt. That's funny and especially as many people know, on the contrary, I had to call the police twice because my ex left me a farewell note saying he was going to kill himself, so I won't even defend this further. Yes, I was absolutely devastated and at rock bottom, but I'll come back to that. There are things my ex-boyfriend didn't mention, and it's probably clear why.

    Then there's the matter of a very harsh and again false accusation, which I especially hope people will read, and that's sexual harassment! To take it step by step, I originally accused him of this. Not to the police, not in front of friends, or in any public way, but there was a period when I didn't want to do anything sexual with my ex. My ex lay on top of me on the couch, completely naked, and started cuddling. I told myself that if he wanted to do anything more, I would stop him. Unexpectedly, at one point, he finished on me. I was uncomfortable with it, but I didn't want to discuss it, so I just said I didn't like this. After some time, I got over it, and we had sex several times. After a while, it started happening that he mentioned he wasn't in the mood, and I asked if something had happened, and he said no, he just didn't feel like it at the moment. He absolutely never mentioned that he had a boyfriend and that he couldn't anymore. In fact, he himself mentions that he didn't inform me, and at the moment when I was informed, I didn't ask him anymore or touch him in any way. I didn't know things had changed, and I took the answer "I'm not in the mood now" literally as "I'm not in the mood now!" So this accusation of his, which is based on him not mentioning this important information, is quite serious.

    I'd like to pause on the part where he writes about my family loss. Oh well... couldn't he really have written it all? I understand that you would be ashamed, but since you're accusing me here and creating drama, let me add some information. :) I was at home with a friend. A typical Sunday, than my mom called me crying that my grandmother, who was always close to me and took care of me for a large part of my life, had passed away. I was completely devastated and called my ex to tell him what happened, because he also knew her and had been to her place 3 times for Christmas. She liked my ex-boyfriend, took care of him, and that's why I wanted to inform him right away, besides explaining why he'd find me totally destroyed when he got home. My ex decided to come home earlier and on the way, on his own initiative, wrote to my own mom that he would take care of me and that he was sorry. That day he really helped me and took care of me. He even slept with me (the SFW version, of course, you understand that I wouldn't even think about sex). The next day, however, he said it was too much for him and that he would go away, that he wouldn't help me. Why then did he write to my mom on his own initiative that he would take care, when he reacted like this. But that's still the okay part. An argument arose where he finally said he already had a boyfriend (good timing, thank you my ex-boyfriend) and MOST IMPORTANTLY! He insulted my grandmother in the process! This great woman who liked him and always treated him nicely! This was absolutely inhumane behavior! So shortly after her passing. The next day he claimed he didn't say anything bad about her and denied it as if he was ashamed instead of apologizing. And so his helping hand turned out to be Satan's hand. Not to mention that he also threatened to start writing to my own mom and tell her things we disagreed on, that we see similarly or that happened that way.

    What else? Well, there's a part where he writes that I took over the apartment, was noisy, and overall it came across as if I was completely inconsiderate. Let's pause here. First of all, it's not very smart to write about it like this when there are people who know the truth. So, my good friend came to visit me to spend time with me because this period was quite difficult for me, and unlike my ex, I didn't immediately have another relationship to escape to. However, I even asked him if I could have a visitor, and he agreed without any problem, but he probably forgot to mention that... as usual. During all of this, we had a nice time, talked about ourselves and life. My ex complains that no one came to greet him but he had his door closed, and no one told him he couldn't join! He didn't even complain about noise, and I have at least 3 witnesses for this, whom I won't mention for understandable reasons. After this visit, I had to spend 2 days convincing him that everything was fine, that nothing was wrong, and that he didn't need to be locked in his room and YES, urinate into a bucket. I was worried about him and didn't understand why he was behaving like this. In the end, he said he wanted to punish himself and me because of what was happening, but that didn't make sense. Even so, I tried to be nice to him and help him not to do these things. This was completely absurd behavior that had no reason. And why should he think we had a "furry swingers party" there? We had a drink, had a good time, and enjoyed ourselves.

    The last part where I have to partially agree with him, and something I'm ashamed of, is regarding finances, but again, he embellished it quite a bit here. Yes, my ex paid for quite a lot of things and helped me financially while I tried to establish myself somehow, but I wasn't successful. I tried through about 40 IT job offers, which mostly ended in ghosting or rejection, because shortly after COVID and the start of the war, no one was interested in a junior programmer. I tried it on my own through my dream of writing a visual novel, but the artist gave up shortly after we started to succeed, so I failed here too, full of demotivation. It didn't help that my ex often reminded me that I was a loser and that I wasn't cut out for these things, which hurt me a lot, and I begged him for a little trust so that I would at least have the motivation to keep trying. There was an attempt to get into a game development company through a friend, but I quickly realized that getting to the level where they would hire me would take at least a year of work. However, even beside all this, I tried to make it up to my ex. I cleaned all the household spaces. 170 square meters, went to get food for him, did his laundry, and did all the things around the household that he never appreciated himself. On the contrary, he said it was the only thing I was good at... that also "motivates" a person. The amount he wrote about my spending is probably 2-3 times higher than it actually is. I never wanted him to buy me expensive things, in the end I even told him I didn't want them and that I would buy them myself when I could afford it.

    Anyway, thanks to a friend's help, I got a job. He wanted me to work on a project, with the understanding that I could start working there after completion, so I began working on the project. Despite my ex's repeated insinuations that I couldn't do it, I continued and persevered, and I got the job. I'm finally starting at the beginning of April. I'm a bit scared but very motivated and looking forward to my new life. My ex and I agreed that I would save up for a new start and then move out right away, and we would each go our separate ways. Everything went fine from then on until, without my knowledge, he decided to write this blog he wrote. Completely unnecessary drama and his revenge. He claims he's not vengeful, but what is this blog then? Or when he threatened suicide to scare me, even though he admitted he didn't want to do it and just wanted to frighten me (which he succeeded in doing). Or at the beginning of our relationship, shortly after his breakup with his previous ex, when he took our fursuit heads, placed lubricant and tissues next to them, photographed it, and sent it to him to show him he was doing well... a completely unnecessary act of revenge. Oh, and I also forgot to mention that he offered me calming drops, which I don't remember what they were, but they were very strong, so much so that I don't remember the whole day and it took me almost a week to recover. I was vomiting and shaking, but I forgave him for that too. He mentions this part in his previous blog, but again it sounds as if he was feeling sorry for himself and that he did it in panic.

    Furthermore, I would also like to mention that I always gave him the opportunity and even my support to invite his friends or his new boyfriend over. That I could stay in my room and not get involved. He mentions there that I almost never leave home... of course, when I'm dedicating a large part of my time to work so that I can have money as soon as possible and move out! That's why I'm at home, to work on this future!

    We had agreed on the conditions that I would move out as soon as possible. Even on Thursday before he left, we said goodbye on good terms, I wished him a happy weekend, and he thanked me and left. There was no indication that this would happen, but I guess this is how he deals with things.

    I'm not asking for full trust to be placed in me. This is my perspective on the matter as I see it. Likewise, I don't seek pity or to make myself like the person who wrote the blog I'm responding to does. I've made many mistakes, but I've also admitted to them as my surroundings know, which can't be said about the person I'm writing about, and when he did admit to something, he always presented it as if he was in a difficult situation and didn't know what to do, hoping everyone would understand him. I just want peace and fair treatment. This could have been avoided if he hadn't written what he wrote, or at least if he had written things truthfully and not accused me of so many serious things that are out of reality. I didn't even mention many other things like my ex's borderline personality disorder, etc., but I hope this drama will calm down soon and I'll find my peace with moving out and be able to focus on a new, better life. For now, I'll probably live in fear of what else my ex-boyfriend will make up about me or do to me, and having hope and trying to make things happen is the only thing I can do right now.